Creating and maintaining meaningful relationships

Our goal for this session is to identify and understand the importance of your circle of social support.

Reviewing Your Chat With Zuri Zuri taught you how to make the best of your social relationships. These friends and family can be very supportive during the good times and bad times.

Identifying Unhealthy Thoughts

Have you ever had the thought that people don't care about you? Thoughts like this hurt us because they lead us to pull farther away from people. And when we pull away from others, they pull away from us. This can leave us feeling isolated and alone.

Here are a couple examples of the negative thoughts some women have, and how these thoughts make it hard to develop healthy relationships with others:

Unhealthy Thought	Makes Us Feel/Do	Which May Result In
No one likes to talk to me	Start avoiding other people	May lose important source of social support
Everyone else is better than me	Avoid making friends	Become isolated

Writing Prompt When have you felt isolated from others? What led to this isolation?

Replacing Unhealthy Thoughts with Healthy Thinking

We can find flaws in just about everyone, and they can find flaws in us. Sometimes it helps to look past what makes us different and open up to new opportunities for friendship. Having regular contact with even just 1 or 2 people may bring you joy and support when you need it most. This is a good thing for your baby who will depend on you on good days and bad. You are worthy of friendship. Let's start turning negative thoughts into healthy ones.

Healthy Thought	Makes Us Feel/Do	Which May Result In
Everyone is born equal, why should I feel inferior	Feel more confident to meet new people	Develop support network to help in times of need
For the sake of my baby, I will make an effort to reduce tensions with my family	Take steps to improve family relationships	Less stress and better health for you and your baby

Writing Prompt What are the things about you that make you a good friend?

Let's Practice Practice is a big part of the Healthy Moms program. We must learn how to Think Healthy, and practice is an essential part of learning.

1. Identify Your Social Support

Use the image below to think about the people in your life who can support you during your pregnancy and after the baby is born. Who is your main support in your family? What about in your community? Write their names down under “Family” and “Community”.

Writing Prompt What type of support do you want from family, friends, and your community?

2. Eating a Healthy Diet

Writing Prompt Review your previous diet chart. How can people support you in preparing food and meals?

Create a chart like this in your notebook and use it to monitor your diet.

	Breakfast	Lunch	Snack	Dinner
Ex.	Tea, porridge, banana	Chips and sausage	Mandazi	Ugali, beef stew, sukuma wiki
Day 1
Day 2

3. Making Time for Rest and Relaxation

Slow Breathing:

Relax your body. Inhale for 3 seconds and exhale for 3 seconds.

Do this 2 to 3 times per day for 10 to 15 minutes each time.

Singing or Humming Your Baby to Sleep:

Imagine that you are cradling your baby to sleep by singing or humming a lullaby

Try to do this 3-4 times a day

Soon it will feel natural

Walking:

Follow a gentle walking pace.

Do this 1 time per day for 15 to 20 minutes.

Sleep:

Let your mind relax

Try to sleep at least 8 hours a night and take a daily afternoon nap.

Create this chart in your notebook and track how often you try the rest and relaxation activities.

	Did you practice slow breathing today?	Did you go for a walk today?	Did you get a full night’s sleep?	Did you sing or hum?
Day 1	Yes / No	Yes / No	Yes / No	Yes / No
Day 2	Yes / No	Yes / No	Yes / No	Yes / No

4. Keeping Track of Your Mood

Remember, keeping track of your thoughts and feelings is a great way to see how you change and grow over time. So at least once a day, imagine the 10-step emotion ladder from Session 1 and rate how you are feeling. On the bottom step (1) are women who feel very sad and blue. On the top step (10) are women who feel great with no sadness. Which step best shows how you are feeling?

Create the following chart in your journal. If you are feeling very happy—as happy as you have ever been—you might tick the box for a 9 or 10. If you are having a really tough day, you might tick the box for step 1 or 2. Tick whatever box is right for you. Just remember that low numbers mean more sadness, and high numbers mean more happiness.

Writing Prompt How have interactions with other people brightened your day?