Stop wondering if you are good enough (you are)

Our goal for this session is to help you understand just how important you are to your growing baby.

Reviewing Your Chat With Zuri Zuri taught you ways to spend quality time with your child. Zuri also reminded you about the importance of recognizing feelings of hopelessness and stress regarding your child’s future and reminding yourself that you can make a difference.

Identifying Unhealthy Thoughts

It's normal to have thoughts from time to time that you are not a "good enough" mother. We can be hard on ourselves when we make mistakes, or when bad things happen. But when these thoughts come to define you, the result can be feelings of low self-esteem and worthlessness. Moms who feel this way can even begin to feel anger and resentment toward their baby, which can lead to feelings of guilt.

The important thing to understand is that you are the best mom for your baby, and you can take small steps that will help you cope with a stressful period of life. The first step is identifying unhealthy thoughts so you can replace them.

Unhealthy Thought	Makes Us Feel/Do	Which May Result In
My baby is always ill because I am not a good mother.	Whatever I do I will fail because I am useless.	A cycle of feeling helpless about your baby’s illness.
Picking up and playing with my baby too much will spoil him or her.	Not making an effort to play with the baby.	It can affect the baby’s psychological development and affect how he or she learns.

Writing Prompt Have you ever had the thought that you are not a good enough mother? What types of things do you tell yourself?

Replacing Unhealthy Thoughts with Healthy Thinking

You and your baby will face hardship and illness, but you are not helpless. You can make a big difference in the health and development of your baby. Every step you take, no matter how small, will help break the cycle of illness and helplessness. Replacing unhealthy thoughts with healthy thinking can help you take action that will improve your lives.

Healthy Thought	Makes Us Feel/Do	Which May Result In
It is my baby’s good fate that he/she can be protected from illness.	Get my baby immunized.	Baby is potentially protected from fatal illnesses.
I will try to reduce my tension and anxiety for my baby.	Try new relaxing activities.	Positive effects on mothers' health and baby’s health.

Writing Prompt What are some steps you can take to prevent your child from getting ill in the future?

Let's Practice Practice is a big part of the Healthy Moms program. We must learn how to Think Healthy, and practice is an essential part of learning.

1. Spending Time with Your Baby

Try the following exercises when you have time and are in a comfortable space.

Gentle Massage:

Give your baby a gentle massage while making soothing sounds or saying loving words.

Try to do this once a day.

Talking or Singing to Baby:

Talk or sing to your baby every day after feeding.

Listen to the sounds and watch the gesture your baby makes and try to mimic them.

Aim to do this 3 - 4 times per day.

Playing with your Baby:

Play with your baby 3 - 4 times a day during different times of the day.

Show him/her different multi-colored objects or things that make a sound.

Hold the object out so your baby can grasp it but make sure they keep it clear from their mouth.

Create this chart in your notebook and track how often you try these activities.

	Did you give your baby a gentle massage?	Did you sing or talk to your baby?	Did you play with your baby?
Day 1	Yes / No	Yes / No	Yes / No
Day 2	Yes / No	Yes / No	Yes / No

2. Eating a Healthy Diet

Writing Prompt Review your previous diet chart. How has your appetite changed over the past few months?

Create a chart like this in your notebook and use it to monitor your diet.

	Breakfast	Lunch	Snack	Dinner
Ex.	Tea, porridge, banana	Chips and sausage	Mandazi	Ugali, beef stew, sukuma wiki
Day 1
Day 2

3. Making Time for Rest and Relaxation

Slow Breathing:

Relax your body. Inhale for 3 seconds and exhale for 3 seconds.

Do this 2 to 3 times per day for 10 to 15 minutes each time.

Walking:

Follow a gentle walking pace.

Do this 1 time per day for 15 to 20 minutes.

Sleep:

Let your mind relax.

Try to sleep at least 8 hours a night and take a daily afternoon nap.

Create this chart in your notebook and track how often you try the rest and relaxation activities.

	Did you practice slow breathing today?	Did you go for a walk today?	Did you get a full night’s sleep?
Day 1	Yes / No	Yes / No	Yes / No
Day 2	Yes / No	Yes / No	Yes / No

4. Keeping Track of Your Mood

Remember, keeping track of your thoughts and feelings is a great way to see how you change and grow over time. So at least once a day, imagine the 10-step emotion ladder from Session 1 and rate how you are feeling. On the bottom step (1) are women who feel very sad and blue. On the top step (10) are women who feel great with no sadness. Which step best shows how you are feeling?

Create the following chart in your journal. If you are feeling very happy—as happy as you have ever been—you might tick the box for a 9 or 10. If you are having a really tough day, you might tick the box for step 1 or 2. Tick whatever box is right for you. Just remember that low numbers mean more sadness, and high numbers mean more happiness.

Writing Prompt What changes in you mood have you noticed over the past few weeks and months?